


Practice

by MoreThanSlightly (cadignan)



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bisexual Male Character, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Bisexuality, F/M, Kissing, M/M, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-23
Updated: 2014-08-23
Packaged: 2018-02-14 09:22:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2186334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cadignan/pseuds/MoreThanSlightly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"It was not my first kiss since 1945. I'm 95, not dead."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Practice

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on [tumblr](http://morethanslightly.tumblr.com/post/88204880117/practice-1k-g-past-steve-peggy-steve-bucky).

“It was not my first kiss since 1945. I’m 95, not dead.”

Natasha doesn’t ask him any more questions, which is good because he doesn’t feel like talking about it. He doesn’t want to talk about how his first kiss since 1945 was with a lawyer named Elena who walked right up to him and asked him out. He’d been drinking coffee at a little table on the sidewalk and sketching the skyline. He liked that about her, that she asked him out. She didn’t beat around the bush, Elena. That’s probably why he said yes. That and the fact that he was lonely and she was wearing a tailored skirt-suit and had her hair in shoulder-length dark waves.

The date was enjoyable enough. She took him to her favorite Thai place and marveled over the fact that he’d never had Thai food before. He told her he wasn’t very adventurous, which would have been funny if she’d known anything about him. She talked a lot about her work. He admired her dedication, but privately thought it sounded miserable to be cooped up in an office working on tax law for sixty hours a week. He said he was a veteran. He would have explained further, because it wasn’t his intention to lie, but she never asked. When he offered to walk her back to her apartment after dinner, she laughed and said “Well, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t interested,” and he realized he’d gotten into something that he wasn’t prepared for.

In the hallway outside her apartment, he dropped a kiss on her lips, hoping to say goodnight and take his leave afterward. He didn’t expect her to grab him by his shirt collar and drag him down into a real kiss. He didn’t expect himself to press her up against the door and run one hand down her side to the curve of her hip, either, but that happened too. He threaded his other hand through her hair, which was thick and silky just like—

He broke away, shaking his head. Her lips were flushed and swollen and her breath was quick. She really was a very beautiful woman. “Something wrong?”

He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. You look like someone and—I can’t.”

She had a low, raspy laugh, and in another circumstance, he might have thought it was sexy. “I’ll look like anyone you want if you’ll kiss me again,” she joked.

He shook his head. “I’m sorry,” he said again. “You deserve better than that, Elena. It’s not right.”

She smiled sadly and touched his shoulder. “Call me if you change your mind?”

He nodded. She went into her apartment and he walked home alone.

He never went out looking for people to kiss, but it did happen again once. He was out at a bar, just to get out of his apartment, not because he had anyone to meet. He was staring down into his beer regretting that he couldn’t get even a little drunk. It would make it easier to talk to strangers, or get up and dance. Supposedly he’d come to this bar because there was a live band playing hits from the ‘30s and ‘40s. He worked hard at catching up on modern history and contemporary pop culture, but he allowed himself a little nostalgia every now and then. Bucky would have liked this place, he thought. Bucky would have been on the dance floor with everybody else.

Someone took the seat next to him at the bar. “Not a dancer?”

“Not yet,” Steve said, gesturing at his mostly full pint. He wouldn’t be any more of a dancer when he got to the bottom of it, but that didn’t bear explaining.

“Maybe you just haven’t found the right partner.”

Steve turned to look at his new neighbor at the bar. The young man was grinning at him in a way that even he understood as an invitation, inexperienced and out-of-touch as he might be. “Marcus,” he said, holding out his hand.

“Steve,” he said, taking Marcus’s hand in his.

Marcus had a firm handshake and the most amazing light green eyes. He wore his black hair close-cropped under his flat cap and his facial hair was similarly neatly groomed. Marcus had a brilliant smile, and Steve wondered, not for the first time, what it would be like to kiss a man. What was the point of waking up in the future if he was never going to find out? He let Marcus lead him to the dance floor and walk him through a few moves.

Marcus was tall and slender and a gifted dancer. He was also patient with all of Steve’s missteps, and the next few hours flew by. Then, as the last song of the night was winding down, Marcus leaned in and kissed him. It was good, as good as he’d imagined, or better, even. Marcus’s beard rasped against his face in a way that he liked, and Marcus was as graceful and confident as a kisser as he was as a dancer. The problem was, Steve found himself thinking of another charming young man who loved to dance. Marcus couldn’t have looked more different from Bucky, but it didn’t seem to matter. Why hadn’t he ever tried this with Bucky? Steve broke the kiss and stepped back.

“I’m sorry, did I read you wrong?”

“No, no, you read right,” Steve said. “I just—I lost someone and I don’t think I’m ready to try again.” He thought about saying that he lost someone  _recently_ , because it still hurt like that, but he didn’t want to explain. “But thanks—for taking my mind off it for awhile. I’m sorry I can’t—,”

“No, it’s okay,” Marcus said. He looked just as disappointed as Elena. Steve had to stop doing this. He had to let go of the past before he led anybody else on.

Luckily, his entire world came crumbling down and the world needed saving, so at least he hadn’t had to think about his pathetic love life in a few days.

In the car, Natasha is regarding him in silence. He probably looks wretchedly sad for someone who just claimed to have kissed other people in recent memory. She looks like she wants to ask him another question, but then they arrive at their destination and there are more important things to talk about.


End file.
